Day 8 Confidence
Happy Eighth Day of Thanks Everyone!
Psalms 27:2-6 When the wicked advance against me to devour me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord.
"The devil is afraid of the one who knows their mantle, identity, and assignment."
I wrote a poem that I'd like to share before I start today's reflection.
The devil is afraid of me.
To kill and destroy the kingdom of darkness
To take back the territory stolen through deception
To make disciples within all the earth.
The devil is afraid of me.
And he should be!
I'm a kingdom sniper.
With every morning's dawn
the red beam of my rifle is in the middle of his forehead
And it's always a sure shot.
©2022 Melissa Barber
I remember the words of this poem every day I wake up because I realize that just as my mission is to destroy the enemy, his mission is to counteract mine. And, boy does he try!
Recently, the way in which the enemy tried to attack my identity, my confidence, my assignment was through a long-term friendship. Because I valued this friendship for such a long time, the enemy knew that if he could infiltrate it, there would be a good chance to get hold of my ear, which would lead to him getting to my mind.
But, thank God for the Holy Spirit, who is a comfort and will lead to all truth!
Before the enemy planned an attack via this relationship, in my prayer time, the Lord spoke very clearly to me and told me not to share anything with this person any more. I was so confused when I heard the message because, as I just mentioned, this was a valued long-term relationship. I prayed about what I heard and asked a prayer partner to pray with me to ensure that I was hearing correctly. Saddened by the word of affirmative confirmation, I obeyed the word that I heard. I stopped sharing the valuable, treasured, and intimate moments of my life with this person.
Fast forward several months later, as I was speaking to this person, I was sharing something "superficial" in nature that concerned my excitement about God allowing me to restore and rectify a mistake I made over twenty years ago. My excitement was stunted by a sucker-punch this person made to my character that had nothing to do with what I was sharing. Blindsided, I asked where that comment about my character had come from but there was no direct answer. What ensued was a slew of accusations and character defamation from what this person perceived to be as her/his knowledge and understanding on something about which she/he was completely clueless.
I was so heart broken to hear the thoughts this person had of me after such a long time of friendship and see how the enemy used her/him to try to get me to question my identity, my mantle, and my assignment in the earth. Beware that the enemy will use anyone he can and usually the closer the person is the better. The closer the person is to you, the more it will hurt you.
I spent months trying to figure out what the person was talking about and asking God from where did that perspective come. I was so mind blown and clueless about the words spoken because what I was accused of was not me or my character at all. It was all so strange coming from a person I thought "knew" me. Because of what this person said, I would either second guess myself or fall back on giving prophetic words that God gave to me. I'd question, "God, did I hear you correctly?" when I knew that I heard the Lord's voice clearly the first time He spoke.
After months of trying to figure out what led this person to say and conclude all the things that she/he said to me, I realized that about a year before in a vulnerable moment, I shared a dream that I had with this person. As I interpreted the dream, I shared my heart and true feelings with this person and they used my vulnerability as a weapon. A weapon that they had put in their arsenal for just the right moment. However, the person never followed up with me to see the conclusion of the matter, but assumed the worst of me and the situation. The person spent that year brewing in the enemy's lies and allowing the enemy to change her/his heart towards me. The outcome of that change was really ugly and caused many years of relationship to be completely destroyed.
God saw this person's heart change toward me and made sure that he revealed it to me. God, in his amazingness, buffered or at least tried to buffer the effect of the enemy's destruction so that I would understand who was at the very core of this tension. I get so angry at how the enemy used this person and uses so many others to destroy purpose in someone's life. If I was falling back on giving prophetic words or not giving them at all, the enemy knew I would be in disobedience to God. That disobedience would mean that people wouldn't be set free, the enemy could and would gain territory, and he'd win. The enemy thought that I would be so hurt and trying to lick my wounds from that hurt that I'd ignore his destruction behavior and pattern toward me.
Well let me tell you, the enemy was sadly mistaken!!!!! I didn't try to fight and counter argue with the person. I walked away. I not only walked away from the toxicity of that relationship, I stayed on my post praying for the person. I told God, "you will be my faithful defense." I kept doing ministry, while fractured and hurting. I was confident about who God was in my life and what He would do for me. Eventually, God gave me peace. I told God that if He wanted this relationship to be mended, He would bring it together, He would put salve in the infection of my and this person's heart, eyes, ears, will and soul, and He would help me to forgive and reconcile.
To date, the person has reached out but has beat around the bush about why he/she was calling. The person feels guilty about what she/he has said but has never apologized for it or addressed the situation. I'm going to keep putting this before the Lord (on the altar) because in my own flesh I don't tolerate deception or Judas' in my camp. But, I do realize that eventually Judas' kill themselves so I don't have to do any dirty work. If this person is a real Judas, she/he won't be around for the longevity of my life.
My task is to stay in position and focus on the kingdom mission, no matter what. My shot at the enemy is always sure.
Have a great day of Thanks.