Day 11: Golden Vessels (Special Ops Agents)
Romans 9:17 “I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.”
Romans 9:21 Does the potter not have the right over the clay, to make from the same lump [of clay] one object for honorable use [something beautiful or distinctive] and another for common use [something ordinary or menial]?
2 Timothy 2:20 In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use.
Song: Use Me
Happy Eleventh Day of Thanks Everyone!
Today, I give thanks for who I call Golden Vessels--Special Operation Agents, those special people who have decided to go through the extra special training to be the rarest of their kind and bless the world and the kingdom of God, alike, with their service. These people, like diamonds, have formed into their excellence, undergoing incredible amounts of pressure, encountering the toughest warfare, and subjecting themselves to the most rigorous training because they decided not to be ordinary.
A few years ago, I was having an in-depth conversation with God asking Him questions about me and my purpose. I asked things like: “why am I so different? Why did you make me with such a big heart to empathize with so many people? Why does my life’s journey always seem so lonely and like it never has a frame of reference to anyone else’s? Why does my road always seem like the long road of suffering and delayed gratification? Why do I have to live through and experience so much pain and suffering?” None of these questions were asked in an accusatory way but to really gain insight on God’s purpose for my life. I wanted to know what God had in mind for me when he “knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Although I was asking those question, at the time, hoping to get answers and insight, I really didn’t hear God speak back to me about the answers to those questions.
Some time after having that conversation with God, I read one of Dr. Rebecca Brown’s books. If I’m not mistaken, it was “He Came to Set the Captives Free.” During the book, she mentions how God spoke to her about his desires for her life. In a conversation she was having with God, He told Dr. Brown that she had a choice in how she could serve God for the rest of her life and presented her with two options. God told her that if she chose the first option, although she would experience a great deal of challenges and difficulties, she would have a deeper, intimate relationship with Him and know/experience facets of God’s character that most people would never know or understand. Then, God told her that if she didn’t choose the first option, she would still be saved and He would still love her but she would never get to that deeper place of knowing him. Eventually, she chose the first option. Her challenges have been great but she is a mighty and powerful Golden Vessel of God.
It blew my mind to hear Dr. Brown’s testimony and her explaining that conversation with God for several reasons. One because God, who is a perfect gentleman, always extends choice to us and never steals our right to free will. Secondly, one can be saved (meaning one has given Lordship of one’s life to Christ) and never choose to go deeper in your walk with Christ. Each of us can stay at the stage of salvation and never really experience all the wonderful things and the intimacy that God desires for us to have with Him. Third, one can choose to be a golden vessel, having special value and chosen for special occasions and special assignments, or be a common vessel, having some value and only chosen for or given the menial everyday tasks of life. Think of the example of one being a world renown chef compared to a person who is hired to peel potatoes. The two jobs are important and have value, but one job is at the foundational stage of the career and never goes any further. The other job is the one that has mastered the foundational job and goes on to deeper levels and higher heights in its mastery of the career. That reading made me reflect and do some real introspection about my choice and my assignment in the kingdom of God.
At that time, I thought, “when God asks me again, which would I choose?” I say “again” because when I was about seven years old, God spoke to me through this really elaborate dream, asking me if I would serve Him in ministry at that point. I was honest with Him. I told God that I truly loved Him and wanted to serve Him but felt like I was too young and wanted to experience life first. I remember with my seven-year-old frame of mind and reference, I was like “but, I want to have a boyfriend someday and still have friends and still be a doctor so I don’t think I can or want to do this right now.” I’m sure God was chuckling to himself (but maybe also a little disappointed) because in my immature frame of reference, I didn’t realize that I could have all of those things and still choose the assignment. And still, in all the love that I had for God at the point (and I really did have a sold-out love for God even at that young stage of my life) I wasn’t readily choosing His assignment for me and saying "be it unto me as you have said," like Mary, Jesus' mother.
Honestly, I think that has always been one of my regrets. I did get to “experience life” and now realize that there was no greener grass on this side of the choice. I did get the boyfriends, some of whom hurt my heart pretty badly, I did get the friends, some of whom betrayed me in the most wicked ways, I did get to become a doctor, and later had to sacrifice the career. I wonder about the “what if” from time to time. If I had chosen ministry and his assignment at seven years old, would I have been spared the great deal of my life’s heartaches, wrong roads, bad decisions and some of the sacrifices? I thank God that, in his infinite wisdom, He knew my heart and knew my naivete. He still saw my love for Him, my heart for ministry and people, and let me serve Him and others in that capacity from the time I was seven. No matter what I did or where I went, God was still the talk of the day. I set up prayer times and bible study groups and was always going deeper in the word. Even when my mom backslid and left the church in my pre-teen years, I continued to go to church and grow in the Lord on my own.
Fast forward to the last quarter of 2020, I was invited to join a prayer call by my friend. When I got on the call, a prophetess began to prophesy to everyone on the call. One of the things, she said to me was “This is the year that God is going to start revealing the “whys” to the questions that you have asked Him about yourself. The young lady definitely had a prophetic utterance from God because she began to reveal words of knowledge and speak about things to me that she could not have known because neither I nor my friend had ever met or spoken to her before. A few weeks later, I went on a thirty day fast and in one of my prayer sessions, after a time of praying in my heavenly language, and reaching a depth in the realm of the spirit, I begin to declare out of my mouth. “I am a special ops agent!” I repeated it several times, not really understanding why this was coming from my spirit. About a week later, I had heard something and discovered the rigorous training that a navy seal had to undergo to become a special ops agent and receive his job. I remembered my prayer session and the declaration I spoke. I told the Lord, “I want to be a special ops agent for the kingdom of God.”
Lo and behold, several months later, in 2021, just as the prophetess had declared, God began to reveal the “whys” to the questions I had asked Him, while I was doing a study of Deborah, of the Bible, and reading Michelle McClain-Walter’s book, “The Deborah Anointing.” As I was reading one of the chapters that was explaining who Deborah was and her entire ministry, the Holy Spirit (who is also the active person of God dwelling within me) in His clear audible voice said, “You are my Deborah. I chose you to be my modern day Deborah. That’s why you have always had the big heart to love and nurture people. I chose you to be my advocate. That’s why you have had to experience the pain and suffering. Because you can empathize, you rightly judge between what is right and wrong. I have chosen you to lead and equip a remnant of warriors for my kingdom. You are my modern Deborah.”
I shouldn’t even have to tell you that I started crying and getting emotional. God had finally answered my questions and it all made sense. Who I was, Why I was, What I do/did, it all made sense. Every piece of God’s puzzle when He thought me into existence was revealed. For the first time, I really understood my God-given purpose in life and my assignment for the kingdom. When God was creating me, I wasn’t thought of to be a wooden or clay vessel, he designed me to be a “Golden Vessel,” a special ops agent that would be in the front lines, equipping a remnant of warriors to prepare the way of the Lord, advocating for justice, going to war with and destroying the enemy and the kingdom of darkness. But, I had to choose the assignment. I had spent so much of my life walking in this assignment not knowing or understanding it because I had semi-chose it. After all, I had told the Lord that I loved Him and wanted to serve Him but wasn’t ready at seven years old. But, in God’s infinite mercy, He knew that I was now ready to know and understand the “why” of the assignment and fully accept it. And I did. I am God’s modern-day Deborah, a Golden Vessel for special use, and a Special Ops Agent that raids and annihilates the kingdom of darkness every chance I get. (Drop the mic!)
Today, as I give thanks for all of you Golden Vessels, who have made the chose to be extraordinary instead of common, I honor and salute you. You have forged your own paths, dared to be different, walked on really challenging and lonely roads and continued to stay the course. You, like Job, have been tried in the fire and have come forth as gold (Job 23:10). Every day of your life has been part of your special ops training and you have earned your badge. Congratulations to you! Because we are honoring Golden Vessels, I’d like to highlight and celebrate my mama and mentor, Ms. Kathryn Hall-Trujillo for being a frontline warrior who chooses to save mothers and babies every day of her life. Her life wasn’t an easy road; she has overcome obstacles from domestic abuse and homeless to soar into the modern day Deborah she is. She walks in and lives out her God given assignment every day of her life and has changed the world, while saving one mother and baby at a time. Please considering donating to the Birthing Project: The Underground Railroad for Life at https://www.birthingprojectusa.org/. We are aiming to save more babies of color in the US and around the world by blessing mothers with safe birth kits, which will allow them to give birth anywhere in clean, sanitary conditions. Every dollar you give will be matched by the Women’s Worldwide Web (W4) https://www.w4.org/en/donate-to-w4/, an organization that invest in the potential of young girls and women around the world.
Have a Great Day of Thanks!