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Lap Love

Updated: Dec 15, 2022

"Real Love" by Kirk Franklin & The Family

Happy Second Day of Thanks Everyone!

Some of you probably saw the title "Lap Love" and have something completely different in mind. So, I'll explain myself.

I've been given an amazing gift from intelligent, beautiful, sophisticated daughter, Delilah Christina (aka Lilah). The one notable thing that we probably have in common is that we share the same twin love languages: physical touch and quality time. Since she was very small, we'd spend our quality time together, as she laid her head in my lap. 

Around menstrual cycle time, due to her seizures, she'd spend even more time, closer to me, in my lap, as I prayed for her, read scripture or books to her and sang with her. Often times, as I did one of those tasks, Lilah desired for me to itch her bald scalp, since her cycle also  produced incredibly dry skin in that part of her body. That time we spend together, my friends, is what I call "lap love."

I have to be honest and admit that I've sometimes taken lap love for granted. However, as Lilah gets older, and I've had to grieve the changes of teenage and adulthood-- older children don't like to give hugs and kisses to their parents as much anymore, I realize just how special and important lap love is. 

Several weeks ago, in prayer, the Lord revealed that Lilah is very sensitive to rejection and noted that we'd spend the next phase of our journey together dealing with the rejection that she has felt on so many levels since childhood. The interesting thing about Lilah is that, as most people, when she feels rejection, she goes into attack mode. However, Lilah's autism doesn't allow her to turn off her primitive mode of operation, so attack mode really means that. She becomes aggressive, hitting, scratching and kicking those who have "rejected" her as a means to let them know that she will not tolerate their disrespect. (It's a continual work in progress but we are working on teaching her that this is not the means by which to do things.)

Rejection is rooted in the "fear" of not being accepted. The only way to combat fear is with perfect love. How much more perfect can love get other than when you are in the arms of someone who truly cares for you, nurtures you, encourages you to be better, reassures you that you are uniquely-abled and perfect just as you are, and fights for your well-being at every turn.

I've come to cherish the time we spend in lap love because I know that it is bringing down every barrier in Lilahs' heart that has been set up by rejection. Lilah hearing and feeling love on my lap has brought healing and deliverance to her beyond words that I can't begin to describe. Because of lap love, she is more confident and speaking a little more than she has done before. Recently, lap love has unlocked her musical talent and voice such that she has composed two new songs that she is really proud of. During lap love, there is a deeper inner healing taking place. We haven't had any aggression towards folks lately and there is less of an impulsivity to do so. 

Lap love is our special quality time and physical touch moment where we bond and love on each other without the hugs and kisses that older children tend to reject. Lap love is where Lilah is healing and getting set free from the captivity and bondage that were produced by that rejection. Lap love is where she is accepted for who she is and still loved on in spite of any flaws or weaknesses. Lap love is where I solidify for my baby girl what love should always look and feel like so that she is never convinced to settle for any counterfeit otherwise.

Today as I give thanks for my and Lilahs' lap love and honor its many benefits, I ask that you consider donating to the organization Operation Smile ( This non-profit organization gives the gift of a smile back to children with cleft lip and palate so that they will no longer be rejected by their families and society for looking different.

Love ya,

Have a Great Day of Thanks!

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