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Progressional Healing

Updated: Dec 7, 2022

"Deliver Me" sang by Le'Andria Johnson

Day 3: Progressional Healing

Happy Third Day of Thanks Everyone!

A few weeks ago, I watched this amazing sermon called "I Don't Need Closure: How to Master The Art of Exits" preached by Dr. Dharius Daniels. It was a game changer. So much so that I shared it with just about everyone in my network. In the sermon, he mentioned how he liked to know the "W" questions (who? What? Why? When?) of a matter. But, in a particular situation, God had not given him the "why?" answer to a particular situation. Ultimately, disappointed by not receiving a response from God, Dr. Dharius received what I call a Job "were you there when I created the world and everything in it" moment. God asked Dr. Dharius, "do you trust that I know what's best for you?" Dr. Dharius responded, "yes." Then, God replied, " if you trust that I know what's best for you, then you have to know that you didn't receive a response from me because you didn't need one. No matter what I would have said, you would have countered with your own solution of what should have happened instead."

Ugh!!!!! As harsh as that response was to hear, how many of us know that it is the truth. Sometimes, the closure that we are looking for is not necessary because it will not provide us with the relief that we think we will receive. But, instead, we'd still question how the result/outcome could have been different.

The reason this sermon hit me like a knife in the chest was because, in a particular situation I was dealing with, I asked God to do the opposite. In that particular situation I encountered, I asked God not to reveal what exactly happened because I didn't think I had the emotional and psychological capacity to know that someone did something to hurt someone that I really loved. (A certain Biggie Smalls song comes to mind about what would happen to the folks who inflicted the harm to my loved one if I did discover what happened.) I begged God not to tell me.

However, after a fast, God revealed to me all of what happened to my loved one anyway. That knowledge hurt me really bad; it was like getting kicked in the face and having all of my teeth knocked out and still not being able to do anything about it. After knowing what I knew, I wrestled with God for some time. "I asked you not to tell me! Why did I have to know that? You could have kept that with you." I protested. And fast forward several days later, I was hearing God's words to Dr. Dharius, "do you trust that I know what's best for you?"

Those words stung. Because if I did trust God, which I do, there was a reason I had to know what I discovered.

A day after that, I discovered the reason I needed to know that thing. I learned that my heart had not truly forgiven the people who inflicted the harm, although I had gone through the "superficial" motions to forgive them so that at the time I could move on with my life. God showed me how "ugly" and wounded my heart was because I wished death on one of the people who inflicted harm upon my loved one. (Yikes!) Upon discovering that the person needed surgery, I literally told God, "I wouldn't mind if you killed them on that surgical table for what they did because I know they'd burn in an eternal hell."

Woah!!!! I couldn't even believe that I thought those words let alone let them come out of my mouth. That wasn't me or who I really was. I'd never wish death or eternal hell on someone. In fact, I spend most of my ministry making sure people don't go there. But sadly, my words and thoughts were the product of an unhealed heart that had not learned to fully forgive.

I immediately repented for those words and thoughts. Following, I asked God to help me truly forgive those people for what they had done. I spent the next few days in consecration, repenting, praying, and fasting to uproot the things in my heart that should not have been there. I am happy to report that several days later, I had gone through deliverance after that consecration period. Being able to forgive was such a weight off of my shoulder. That act of consecration and forgiveness allowed me to help and walk Lilah through her own process of healing.

I'm glad God allows us to undergo experiences and puts mirrors before us so that we can see exactly who we are and what about us needs to change.

I wrote a poem about the consecration and deliverance experience that I'm going to share.

Deliverance (Heart to Heart)

I forgive them for what they've done to my baby and release them to you.

I forgive them for what they've done to my baby and release them to you.

I forgive them for what they've done to my baby and release them to you.

I forgive them for what they've done to my baby and release them to you.

I forgive them for what they've done to my baby and release them to you.

I forgive them for what they've done to my baby and release them to you.

I forgive them for what they've done to my baby and release them to you.

The burning in my chest is still there.

I'm not done.

I give you the anger, rage, hurt, disappointment, resentment, and ill-will that has attached itself to my heart because of what was done.


take them from me.

The burning lessens.

A little more work.

Wash me and make me new.

Now, I give you Lordship over my mind, my thoughts, my emotions, my body--

All the areas where those things took over.

The burning dissipates.

Deliverance complete.

©2022 Melissa Barber

Forgiveness and Deliverance are not always immediate. Sometimes they require one to lay that issue down on the altar, everyday, sometimes for years, until one's heart/mind/emotions are completely healed. Sometimes, we want to hurry up and move pass the situation, so we do the "superficial" stuff like saying "I forgive them" without having done the real work of forgiving. Then, we wonder why months and years later we have pain, inflammation, and sickness running through our bodies.

Let's not skip the real work part and live in real healing.

Today as we celebrate progress toward and complete healing, I ask that you consider donating to the organization House of Ruth (, which provides safe housing and comprehensive services for women and their families.

Love ya,

Have a Great Day of Thanks!

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