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Soul Reparations (Spiritual Direction)

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Proverbs 11: 14

Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.


Proverbs 19:20-21

Listen to counsel and receive instruction, That you may be wise in your latter days.

21 There are many plans in a man’s heart, Nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.


Worship Song: I need Your glory by Earnest Pugh

Happy Twenty Sixth Day of Thanks Everyone!

Today I give thanks for Soul Reparations, an organization that provides free sessions of spiritual direction, (counseling/therapy) to women of color in the context of reclaiming how we (women of color) see God and ourselves outside of the context of a “white male centric theology.”

In early 2022 a friend shared some information with me about an organization that provides free counseling for colored women of faith and said that she thought it would be great for me to connect with the organization since I provided spiritual direction and discipleship to many women of color already. What she did not know was that at the same time I was looking for counseling services for myself as I navigated the weight of spiritual warfare I faced, walking Lilah through her journey of healing and deliverance.

I know that in the body of Christ some people have very conflicting thoughts about therapy. Some people don’t believe therapy is necessary because “Jesus paid it all and heals ALL manner of diseases and should be looked to as one’s only source of healing.” And, yes, that is ALL very true. However, sometimes when we are sick with a bacterial infection, we go to the doctor to get some antibiotics or use herbal remedies to get/feel better. In other words, we utilize the tools of medicine and physicians to aid in our healing. In therapy, it’s the same thing. We utilize the tools of counselors/therapist/psychiatrist and sometimes medicine to aid in our minds becoming or staying well. Should those tools replace our faith in God to heal? Absolutely not. They are supplemental tools that God can and sometimes will use to aid in our healing.

I looked through the Soul Reparation website and was very impressed. I signed up for the services, although it mentioned that there was a long waiting list. I wasn’t expecting to hear from the organization until late 2023, if I’d hear from them at all.  To my surprise, about several months later (late October 2022), I was contacted by a representative welcoming me to the organization and letting me know that I could schedule my first of ten free sessions with the counselor to whom I had been assigned.   I scheduled my first session a week or so later in November.

God’s timing is so perfect!!! God knew that, in addition to navigating the spiritual warfare I was encountering, I would lose my mother two months later and would need someone to talk me through that grief and help me process my feelings about it in a safe and sacred space. Delilah did not process my mother’s death well; her grieving process has been all consuming and completely overwhelming for me. It was so nice to have steal away moments to virtually talk to my counselor about what I was feeling and how I was doing, since that doesn’t happen much in my life. Those sessions not only helped me process the grief and all my feelings associated with my mother’s death, but they allowed me to speak freely about those topics in the context of my Christian faith. I didn’t feel uncomfortable mentioning God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit and their roles in my life. I didn’t feel uncomfortable talking about my biblical views that addressed what I was feeling as well. It was really a sacred space.

I remember how my counselor started each session with a moment of silence to ground ourselves. It really helped me to focus my thoughts and what I wanted to talk about during our session. It also invited the Holy Spirit and His wise counsel into our sessions to navigate our process. My counselor had such a beautiful, peaceful demeanor and would have amazing ways of weaving my sometimes 40 minutes of “vomit” speech together and ensuring that I felt and sat in the tension of my emotions and were processing them appropriately and adequately. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do my last sessions and properly say farewell to my counselor.  I got busy and didn’t get to schedule it. When I did reach out to see if I could schedule the last session, I didn’t hear back from her. It was unfortunate that I didn’t get to give her an overall “thank you” and let her know how appreciative I was of her time and help. Although I didn’t get to say “good-bye” adequately, I do pray that God richly bless her and pour into her life greater than what she is pouring out.

I’m so grateful for my time with Soul Reparations. A little over a year later, those tools of sitting, uncomfortably, with my feelings and processing them and the moment of silence to ground my thoughts are still present with me. This holiday season as I have had to fight my way out of drowning in depression and under the weight of the overwhelming spiritual attacks occurring in my and Delilah’s life, the moments of silent prayer have been my life line. I wrestle with the tension of the duality of knowing who God is and what He said (in the Bible) and my current reality. I give God my “vomit” speech of thoughts, feelings, frustrations and disappointments, like I did my counselor, and witness Him ground my thoughts as He speaks back to me about everything.

Today as I give thanks for Soul Reparation and spiritual direction, I invite you to donate,, to this wonderful organization as they pursue their mission of giving the same spiritual direction to the many women of color, like myself, who truly need it.

Love Ya,

Have a Great Day of Thanks!

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