Updated: Oct 9, 2021
Day 12: Timeless Treasures
" A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
Happy Twelfth Day of Thanks Everyone!
I was reading something a few weeks ago about the stages of the progression in a friendship. The article mentioned how we start off as “strangers,” not knowing anything about the other person. Next, we become “acquaintances” where we KNOW OF a person. Then, we move to being casual friends, where we KNOW the person. Following, we become close friends where we not only know the other person but we understand them. Lastly, we become intimate friends, where our souls connect. I followed up that article by a podcast that a friend sent me where the host began to talk about an inner circle of accountability among friends. He received questions from a Facebook post that he posed for the listener to answer. (I’m so sorry that I don’t know the original source to give credit because they are amazing questions to answer.) Here are the questions:
*Who do you process with?
*Who speaks into your now and future?
*Who do you bounce your God ideas off of?
*Who has the sit down/shut up card in your life?
*Who do you trust with you (your vulnerability)?
*Who can tell you “that wasn’t God?”
*Who accepts you where you are but refuses to allow you to stay there?
*Who can help you identify your blind spot?
*Who calls out what’s on the inside of you when you don’t see it?
*Who celebrates you?
As I was answering these questions, I realized that I have had some really amazing ride or die people in my life who have loved, celebrated, and checked for me. They have cultivated my maturation and drew out every ounce of potential in me. I can always be real and let my hair down with them. They can even see me fall apart. (Yes, I’ve done that sometime!) However, there is nothing like what I call a timeless treasure. A timeless treasure is a friend who does all of the above but are the life timers. They stick around forever and their presence, even when they are not physically or geographically around, stays with, maintains and sustains you. You can go off to live in other countries, be in different phases of your life and they are with you, checking for you, cheering you on and encouraging you.
I have that.
Today, I want to mention two of my timeless treasures. My friend Abby of 33 years (OMG I can’t believe it’s been that long!) and my friend Sekou of 31 years. I absolutely love and adore both of them and they will forever have a huge chunk of my heart. Our relationships are seamless; no matter when we talk, it’s like we resume right where we left off. We use the first minutes of our conversation to catch up on ourselves and family, then we go into the much deeper stuff of our lives. I appreciate them because they really know me (from my humblest of beginnings), have always told me the truth about myself, and made room for me to always be myself. They have seen potential in me that I didn’t even know was there and cheered it on and fanned the flames until it became a great fire.
I tell all my secrets to Abby and can trust her to hold every one of them with absolutely no judgement. I vent to her about the craziness happening in my life and my relationships. I get wise, sage advice from her all the time. Most often, she has a perspective from which I have not seen the situation and she gives it to me raw. (I love it!) Abby is absolutely brilliant. Until this day, she saves my hide and helps me navigate things that I have absolutely no clue about. I am so grateful to her because she holds down this social media madness for me. (I am lost without a clue ya’ll!) She has been one of my biggest supporters and fans throughout my entire life and keeps daring me to go from good to great. She is all things amazing-daughter, mother, and friend. I love her with all my heart and am so glad she is my timeless treasure. (Cheers to our lifetime together!)
Sekou is my heart and will probably always be that. When I met him, he was the class clown and jokester with the biggest, sensitive teddy bear heart that even your mom loves. Until this day, I can’t think of another man in my life (besides my little brother) that got away with absolute murder like he did when it comes to my mom. I absolutely love and appreciate him and his presence in my life because he was always that person I could count on to check for me. No matter where life took me, geographically, when I came home, he was the consistent, familiar face that he knew I always needed. It was almost like our souls were intertwined because within hours or a day of me arriving home, he would show up to my house, even if it wasn’t a major holiday (I always wondered how he know I would be home…), and put a smile on my face. He was always cracking a joke and acting the fool. (I was always on the verge of peeing my pants.) We always argued about his foul mouth, for which I always give him the side eye. He was always threatening to karate kick me for something. (SMH!) I still owe him a kick that I’m plotting to get him back for. Sometimes, he drew me the most beautiful works of art, and if he gets his confidence back, I know he’ll be an amazing artist for which this world will have to make room. Without fail, he let me know that my world was okay, that I had a shoulder to lean on if I needed it, and reminded me of how proud he was of me. Symbolically, he was home for me and the security and a much-needed safe haven to the madness in my head and the world around me. He was very rarely not there. Without him even knowing it, he has been one of the positive influences that has shaped and defined how I know men can and should treat me. (I’ve never settled for anything less!) As I think on it, I can only remember one or two blocks of time in my life when he wasn’t there because he was going through his own life changes for which I was constantly praying him through. In the seemingly smallest ways, he has made a huge impact in my life and I will be forever grateful for him.
Do you have amazing timeless treasures (life time friends) like I do in your life? If you do, you need to love on them and let them know just how much you appreciate them. Don’t let another moment go by without letting them know just how much they mean and have meant to you. Today, as we give thanks for the timeless treasures in our lives, I invite you to serve, in the way you see fit, the organization Friends of America, (https://friendtofriendamerica.org/), which recruits and matches volunteers to visit (one-to-one) with elderly and disabled persons living in nursing, assisted living, retirement, and adult family homes for the purpose of forming friendships. For the price of a cup of coffee ($5), help their cause to give seniors and uniquely-abled persons the opportunity to have friends.
Have a great day of thanks!